I'm Amy Owens mummy I had Owen at 17 and found out he was disabled at 18, i never thought in a million years I'd have a disabled child, and i don't think my family did either. I have being on the internet so many times looking for what could be wrong with my little boy, he's the most precious person in the world to me and a little charmer to the ladies he doesn't even have to do anything just a look or smile and there , its really frustrating and hard not knowing and not knowing what life holds for him.
I have lot's of friend's so i see regularly, and there fantastic with owen, i'm very family oriented so i enjoy spending time with my family more in a way, i have allot of girls night's with my friends and family enjoy going out with if it's having a chat, lunch, pamper night or the odd night out. i'm not one for going out drinking, when Owen was younger and i lived next door to my mum, i used to go out a bit more regularly, but would rather go out every once in a while usually once every 2-3 moth's with the girl's.
I do have bad anxiety when on my own or in crowded places, i do not know why, but i can remember having since i was at least 14 year's old, because i live on my own i don't tend to go out on my own, i would rather keep owen in were i know he's more likely not to catch something, plus the fact he's not a fan of the heat nor the cold, because of my anxiety it has stopped me doing alot of thing's ive wanted to do, once when Owen was a baby it took me 45 minutes at the door trying to make myself actually do it, and i was put on tablet's which didn't help and was meant to start counselling, but i couldn't get to the appointment's so just tried to try and sort it out myself, a main thing was doing thing's on my own, so iv'e tried pushing myself and i got the bus on my own, which was at first a big achievement, i even went on a flight on my own as was going on holiday but i couldn't go the time everyone else was, i was so nervous i could feel myself shaking, and my head bobbing, proberly looking a little odd, but once i was on the plane i was fine.
i would of loved to work but because of Owen i would take to much time off, with appointment's or when he's ill, so instead i volnteer at a pre-school, which i have being doing since November 2013, i do 2 day's a week, which has helped allot, as i love playing with the children, but it also get's me out and meeting new people, iv'e met some of my friends through doing it, even with doing 2 day's a week i still take allot of time of due to Owen being unwell, so it's a good job it's only voluntary work.
I still do have problem's with anxiety and it does still stop me from doing thing's, but i'm happy with the progress I've made so far and i know, that the more i make little pushes every now and then the more it will help.
I wont go into detail why, but Owen doesn't see his daddy and hasn't since December 2011, and i like to think i'm doing a good job on my own at raising Owen.
i don't write about my relationship, as i do not have a relationship with anybody, it's just me and Owen, i do date, and i wouldn't let anybody meet Owen until i knew it was serious, and so if i ever write on my blog's about someone relationship wise, it will mean it's because it's serious, i find it hard to connect with someone who understands what's going on in my life with Owen, and it will take time to find that special someone who i will let in. x